Anyway, as I posted over at the TSB blog, I actually experienced a mild panic attack a few nights ago. I stayed up late so many times drawing, writing for the blog, working on the website and, admittedly, playing World of Warcraft (only a little bit, I swear!) that it got to me. One night I went to bed at 3:00am, another at 4:30am, and finally well past 5:00am. That night I could not sleep until past 7:00am and was lying on my mom's bed after messing mine up completely tossing and turning so much. My mom had gone to work by then, around the time I went to bed.
My kitty Shampoo, who normally tolerates a limited amount of affection depending on her mood, came to me, lay on my chest, and allowed me to pet her mercilessly for the two hours I lay awake, having trouble breathing and with my heart pounding. Petting her calmed me down somewhat, but I was so jumpy that every little noise, even the air conditioner going off, felt loud and alarming.
This kind of thing has happened to me three times, and usually the biggest culprit behind it is coffee. This time was no different. I drink way too much of the stuff. Then I can't sleep and start freaking out, and by the time the caffeine leaves my body, my heart starts pounding as an effect, making it all worse.
Before I even had the first one of these, I had read something about "night terrors" online. Stumbled upon it, because I hand't experienced anything like that. I really didn't understand what it was about, until a very long time afterward I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, trembling with FEAR. Just fear. And get this: being fully aware that there was nothing to fear. I wasn't scared of anything in particular, I was just scared. Terrified. I think it lasted five minutes and it was over, but wow.
Having your body freak out on you from too much coffee is no fun, and I feel guilty to boot, for not taking care of myself. But, masochist as this will sound, I was amused by the "night terror" thing (the next day, of course.) It was horrid, but for someone who writes, the experience of sheer terror with full awareness that there is nothing to fear, is fodder for interesting writing. So I put it in one of the little boxes of ideas inside my head. =)
Hmm, what else. Futurama is back, and it seems to be getting its heart back with the latest episode, "Bender's Physical Perfection". The ending is good ol' Futurama, the kind that really tugs at the heartstrings and makes you FEEL. Something The Simpsons used to know how to do over ten years ago, and which Family Guy and (ugh) South Park have NEVER been able to do. This is something Futurama has in common with Daria and King of the Hill, I think.
So! My birthday is next week. I'll be 27. Woohoo! My friend Chris and I are going to the movies to celebrate. We're going to see Despicable Me. I hoped that Jennifer, another good friend of mine, would be there too, but it cannot happen, unfortunately.
I really have nothing more to say, except that Tropical Storm Bonnie seems to be headed this way. Here's hoping it doesn't cause too much damage.
By the way, thanks for your continued support of The Stamping Bazaar, everyone! =) I am touched by all your kind comments and most of all for the orders you've placed! Right now my future rent is depending heavily on the success of this kind of crazy venture, so I do need your patronage, and thank you for it profusely.
-Marina
